The Story Store VIII: Seikon no Qwaser
by ArenLuxon
Summary: Stories are sold in a store, and sometimes, people walk in with strange requests.


"Yes, you heard that right," the man repeated. "I would like a male tsundere as the MC."

"But… that, how…uhm, hold on a second." The freckled boy opened a door behind the counter which was labeled 'private'. He walked the hallway and knocked on a certain door.

"Come in," a voice said.

He opened the door. "We've got a strange costumer, Miss."  
"This is the Story Store," she said, sipping her tea. "Only strange people come here."

"Yes, but this one wants a _male_ tsundere."

Her tea sprayed all over her desk. "A _what_?!"

"A male tsundere," the boy repeated. "As the main character. In an ecchi, not a harem, just ecchi."

"I'll take that one then," she said. "You see where our maid is to clean this up." She gestured at her desk.

"Yes, Miss."

The owner put on her horn-rimmed glasses and straightened her long blonde hair. Then, she walked to the counter.

"So," she said. "You wanted a male tsundere?"

"Indeed," the man confirmed. "And during battles he randomly speaks Russian. You know, because it looks cool."

She studied the man in front of her. He had a moustache, but no beard, a receding hairline and dark eyes behind glasses. She had a suspicion what kind of genre he liked.

"That's very unusual to say the least, especially in an ecchi. May I ask what the premise of the story is?"

"The story revolves around Qwasers, individuals capable of controlling a specific element."

The blonde woman was impressed. "That sounds very promising," she said.  
"Their power source is Soma, some kind of breast milk."

She sighed. Of course. She should have seen it coming.

"So," she started typing on her keyboard. "Heavy fanservice?"

"Obviously."

"Lots of action scenes?"  
"Yep."

"Sounds pretty standard. If you want, we have a pre-set-"

"No, no," He interrupted her. "I want like, really heavy fanservice." He was waving his arms around now. "Like BDSM references, massive breasts that pop out every five minutes, lesbian scenes, reverse pedophilia, those kinds of things."

"I'm sorry, _reverse_ pedophilia?"

"Yeah, a BDSM relationship between an eleven year old girl and a fifteen year old girl, but the eleven year old girl is the sadistic master. You know, reverse lesbian pedophilia."

"And it's not hentai?"

"I want to make people wonder just how far you can go without being labelled hentai. Let's call it: edgy-ecchi."

He was saying it as if he had personally invented a new genre. They had customers before who had the same idea, but, she had to admit, this guy was next-level crazy.

"So uhm," she quickly changed the subject. "What kind of setting do you want?"

"Eastern Orthodox church."

"You got a thing for Russian things?"

He shrugged. "Not particularly."

She cleared her throat. "In any case, we need a primary love interest."

"Really?"

"It's not optional I'm afraid."

"Well then," he smiled deviously. "I want all my characters to have big breasts, _except_ …"  
"That is just cruel."

"Of course. And she should have an innocent best friend with the largest chest of them all. And her classmates are constantly picking on her."

"Can she have something at least?"

"Well, she can be good at kendo."

"Good."

"Of course, against a Qwaser, she doesn't stand a chance."

"That's just cruel."  
"Alright, alright, further on in the story she grows from a B-cup to a G-cup, happy now?"

"How does that even work?"

"Uhm, I don't know, the Sword of Maria maybe. Just make something up."  
"We'll do our best."

"Oh, one more thing. If they make an anime, they should include one particular episode."

"Which is?"

"Like halfway through after a major battle, MC-kun has lost his memory and is convinced he's a girl. So they take him to a hot spring and then they constantly show boobs and the characters even directly state that this episode is just fanservice, and then, a crazy muscled girl shows up with grey hair who's supposed to cure him and then Sasha goes berserk. All the while the leader of Athos is drinking with the enemy."

"Yeah, uhm, one question: _why_?"

He shrugged once again. "Cause it sounds fun?"

"Any other weird stuff that should be included?"

"I would like a catchphrase for the protagonist. Something like," he made a pose. "Tremble, bow down in fear!"

"And should he say that in Russian?"

"Let's not get too crazy shall we?"

"I would suggest that as a title: 'let's not get too crazy'."

"I already have a title: _Seikon no Qwaser._ "

"Then I believe we are about done for now."

"I'll come back once they decide to make an anime adaptation then."

She suppressed a chuckle. "Sure, sure." You would have to be crazy to adapt this. No way anyone would ever broadcast something so edgy. Even the guys from Aki-Sora would never…

 _*Five years later*_

"What do you mean a second season?"

This was a joke, right?

Right?


End file.
